"My Princess Boy"
by Cheryl Kilodavis
Illustrated by Suzanne DeSimone
Originally Published in 2009
This is a non-fiction book written by the mother of a young boy named
Dyson Kilodavis. He likes the color pink, wearing pretty things like dresses
and tiaras and dancing like a ballerina. This book is about acceptance for
people who might be different. His family, including his father and older
brother and friends from school accept him and support him for who he is. He
has to learn that not everyone understands why he does what he does and that's
okay.
"I wrote “My Princess Boy” as a tool to help people like me, a
recovering bully, to have fundamental conversations about acceptance. The
book is meant to be used by adults and children to begin and continue
conversations about accepting unique differences. It’s not surprising that
children, especially in early childhood educational settings, learn how to
co-exist with each other – acknowledging and accepting differences." (Cheryl Kilodavis, Oct.
25 2011, My Son, The Princess Boy, Wall Street Journal)
The illustrations in this book are perfect because there is no depiction
of facial features or stereotypes. All the characters look alike except for the
color of their skin and the only way you know whether they are a boy or girl is
by the length of their hair. Some of the girls depicted are even wearing pants. It’s the
perfect way to break down gender and racial stereotypes through illustration.
The bullying and discrimination that Dyson, the Princess Boy receives is
inevitable but that is what this book is about, learning acceptance. Cheryl
Kilodavis gives a great TED Talk about the book and how difference doesn't mean
something or someone is a threat and once you see it isn't a threat you can
begin to accept the difference. Dyson's father put is beautifully in a clip at
the beginning of the TED Talk saying, "It’s not contagious". At the
end of the book Cheryl poses questions to the reader, "Will you laugh at
him?; Will you call him a name?; Will you play with him?; Will you like him for
who he is?" As Cheryl states in the TED Talk, "it's not what would
you do but what will you do". The entire book has positive language
and even the situations of discrimination and humiliation are followed
immediately by positivity about who he is. (TED Blog. (July, 2013).
Cheryl Kilodavis at
TEDxSanJoaquin: My princess boy.)
I think the hero’s in the book are his mother, father and brother. They
are the ones that love him unconditionally and let him express himself by
dancing and playing with him. The Princess Boy still carries on his active
healthy life style, he just does it in a dress. He isn't challenging gender
rolls, he still identifies as a boy. He still plays basketball and climbs
trees, he just does it in a dress.
Being that the author is also the Princess Boys mom there is a bias on
the effect of the child’s self-image. Although I will back her in saying that I
think she is making the right decision letting Dyson wear what he likes. I
think that discouraging him and making him wear the boy clothes to save him
from reticule would have worse effects on his ego then just letting him be
him. I will say that the book isn't necessarily about universal
acceptance. It’s about accepting a boy that wears "girls" clothes.
The content and nature of the book are a good starting point for having
conversations with young children about acceptance. I would definitely use this
book as a resource for children in a classroom.
References:
10 Quick Ways to Analyze Children's Books for Sexism and Racism. Adapted from the original brochure which was published by the Council on Interracial Books for Children by the California State Department of Education. Sacramento, Bill Honig, 1998.
Kilodavis, C., (2010). My Princess Boy. New York: Aladdin
Cheryl Kilodavis, Oct. 25 2011, My Son, The Princess Boy, Wall Street Journal
TED Blog. (July, 2013). Cheryl Kilodavis at TEDxSanJoaquin: My princess boy.
